Calliope Center

Noticing

Posted by Prudence Tippins on 7 October 2011 | 4 Comments

Embrace who you really are. Follow your soul's path. Be all you can be. Release your inhibitions. 

Great ideas, all. But how?

In order to truly transform ourselves, we must become consummate internal observers. When we are able to recognize our ego's voice for what it is -- a past-oriented, reactive "protector," we are better able to discern when we are thinking/feeling/acting from our ego perspective or from our essence.  

(Of course, as I've discussed in previous posts, the ego is not a true protector, as it favors safety and the status quo over growth, development, and change. We can certainly deal with the ego compassionately, even gratefully, but we needn't operate under its edicts.)

Becoming a consummate observer isn't easy, though. The ego is full of rationalizations (e.g., "Well, I am only angry at him because he did what I expressly asked him not to do,"); justifications ("It's my duty, really, to set my children on the straight and narrow,"); tricks ("I'll meditate, but it's probably better to go ahead and take a shower first, and maybe a load of laundry..."); and beliefs ("If I'm uncomfortable in this group, something must be wrong with them/me,"). Our ego knows us pretty well and can obscure its motives behind whatever it knows will appeal to our sensibilities: justice, love, efficiency, beauty, rational thinking, safety, desire, power, peace and quiet. It's got our number. 

Our egos can only fool us if we don't know better, or if we're willing to ignore what we know. Setting aside the latter task for the time being, the first step is "knowing better." This is where tools and teachings come in. While our intellect can be a tool of the ego, it can also be a tool for Essence. If we stay curious, we can actually have fun discovering how the ego tries to thwart us.

One tool that no seeker should be without is meditation. This is our direct way of knowing and seeing. We sit in the seat of the observer and watch how our ego works, as we commune with our essence. There is no substitute. It's our window to the inner workings of ourselves. But it's not the only tool.

I teach the Enneagram because it can be extremely helpful in seeing how we (all Nine Types of us) fool ourselves; how we keep ourselves separate from our true nature. (I am always amused by -- and compassionate with -- those who say they aren't interested in typologies because they put people in boxes. That's the ego's way of avoiding being found out: a way to keep that person in his box!) With the Enneagram, we see the many ways our ego gets hooked, and even the messages the ego tries to get us to believe, so that when we hear that voice in our head, we can recognize it as the ego, turn to it with compassion, and then tune in to our essence.

Of course, the Enneagram isn't the only tool. I'm currently studying Jung's typology, which adds additional, related information. And there are other such systems.

Another way I've recently discovered to expose my ego's covert operations is cross-cultural studies. The book, American Cultural Patterns: A Cross-Cultural Perspective, for example, uncovers the cultural habits and norms that we may think are "human characteristics," but are actually thoughts and actions that reveal our biases and even our orientations. For example, the English language has a highly developed future tense, as compared to Trukese or the Hopi language: both cultures that are much more present-oriented than we more risk-averse Americans. There is also more emphasis on value judgment in English, as opposed to, say, Portuguese or Chinese. And while Japan and Taiwan have three different forms of "you," based on the status of the person being addressed, English has only one, symbolically emphasizing the value of egalitarianism (Stewart and Bennett, 1991).

We can translate such cross-cultural observation and similarly examine our personal linguistic habits to discover our underlying beliefs. And we needn't stop with language. What about non-verbal behaviors? Formal and informal activity choices? Social relationships? Perceptions of the world -- both natural and man-made? Our ego would like to tell us, "This is just the way things are," but as our minds open, we discover that there are many, many ways to "be," and we can choose from a place other than a fear of change or consequence.

The important thing about observing is to maintain an air of curiosity, not of judgment. Being gentle with yourself is key to achieving the state of "being-ness" and peace that all the slogans encourage. Rigor is required in the noticing, not in the evaluating. Keep it up, and you'll find it's fun: like a treasure hunt! And the more you find and address compassionately, the more your essence will shine through.

Enjoy.